My husband and I are both retired. I am a nurse and could work in the medical field. We have more than 150k in the bank cash. My concern is my husband is old (77) and has multiple health problems. Can you recommend how and where to go. I am very afraid where things are going. It would bankrupt us if he lost VA and Medicare.
Malaysia might be a good choice. They have a great tax free visa program that is low cost to get in - and their medical centers are second to none. Penang is a beautiful place - lots of wonderful beaches, very safe and English spoken.
Susan, this is really tough. I feel like its none of my business. So it sounds like you want to leave but no one else does. It also sounds like they can sense your alarm and, because they dont share it, they might roll their eyes "when susan starts up again" or push back telling you that you are mad.
First point. You can not be responsible for all these people and how they see the world. I guess you were the kind of mom that did everything for everyone. Then when they grow up and dont fully share your viewpoint it gets worrying. Its not disrespectful. People change - evolve - its healthy.
Honestly, you have to accept they dont share your concerns. And thats ok.
Second, I sense you emote. Thats ok. Everyone deals with challenges differently. However, when people who dont emote interact with those that do, it can be really hard for them. Its awkward and even embarrassing. It can make others feel uncomfortable.
I am sure you cant just turn it off. However, understanding how others react to it might help you regulate it ... Because at the end of the day you want them to understand your point of view and support you. Thats different from agreeing with you. So if you know when you get wound up it turns them off, you know they will react by withdrawing. So try something new. Not a one off... But over weeks...
Three. The one who most needs to understand your viewpoint is your husband. Because if you are serious sbout leaving, his reaction is going to be central. All of the things you need to do to prepare to leave are the same as estate planning. So one way to approach it might be to get your affairs in order.
Four. If he does not want to leave, you have a choice. If its to stay, do as much as you can to get your affairs in order so if there are last minute changes of mind uou can act on them. Then accept your decision to stay and embrace it. Perhaps the country you might have gone to collapses... Is one way to help you accept things.
Getting more and more worked up is going to have the opposite effect. Dont get mad. Get organised. Start with getting your affairs in order .
Hope this incredibly invasive personal advice eithout knowing the dituation or ppl involved helps!
How do I do this? I have a daughter, her husband, 2 boys, another grandson I raised, his girlfriend, me and my husband. My husband has his passport. The rest of us are working on ours. I am afraid my daughter thinks I watch too much news, and read too much substack. I just watched the video Andrew Wiseman put out The Wolf is at the Door. I understand the urgency, they don’t. How do I make them understand to be prepared? How do I do that without making them think I am crazy?
My husband and I are both retired. I am a nurse and could work in the medical field. We have more than 150k in the bank cash. My concern is my husband is old (77) and has multiple health problems. Can you recommend how and where to go. I am very afraid where things are going. It would bankrupt us if he lost VA and Medicare.
Malaysia might be a good choice. They have a great tax free visa program that is low cost to get in - and their medical centers are second to none. Penang is a beautiful place - lots of wonderful beaches, very safe and English spoken.
Thank you Adam! I will check that out immediately. I don't want our last years on this earth to be hijacked by fascist. Thank you again 💓
I don't want that for you either. Check out @Kimberly Anne she writes about her experiences and holds courses to help folks.
Thank you so much Adam!!!!! I’m here to help anyone who wants to leave! 🥰🥰🥰
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/03/gold-card-residence-abroad/682103/
If you don't have a sub let me know and I'll cut n paste. I have not read it yet
Oh this is great, thank you!! I'll see if I can read or listen first w/out a sub. I used to have one but it lapsed.
Susan, this is really tough. I feel like its none of my business. So it sounds like you want to leave but no one else does. It also sounds like they can sense your alarm and, because they dont share it, they might roll their eyes "when susan starts up again" or push back telling you that you are mad.
First point. You can not be responsible for all these people and how they see the world. I guess you were the kind of mom that did everything for everyone. Then when they grow up and dont fully share your viewpoint it gets worrying. Its not disrespectful. People change - evolve - its healthy.
Honestly, you have to accept they dont share your concerns. And thats ok.
Second, I sense you emote. Thats ok. Everyone deals with challenges differently. However, when people who dont emote interact with those that do, it can be really hard for them. Its awkward and even embarrassing. It can make others feel uncomfortable.
I am sure you cant just turn it off. However, understanding how others react to it might help you regulate it ... Because at the end of the day you want them to understand your point of view and support you. Thats different from agreeing with you. So if you know when you get wound up it turns them off, you know they will react by withdrawing. So try something new. Not a one off... But over weeks...
Three. The one who most needs to understand your viewpoint is your husband. Because if you are serious sbout leaving, his reaction is going to be central. All of the things you need to do to prepare to leave are the same as estate planning. So one way to approach it might be to get your affairs in order.
Four. If he does not want to leave, you have a choice. If its to stay, do as much as you can to get your affairs in order so if there are last minute changes of mind uou can act on them. Then accept your decision to stay and embrace it. Perhaps the country you might have gone to collapses... Is one way to help you accept things.
Getting more and more worked up is going to have the opposite effect. Dont get mad. Get organised. Start with getting your affairs in order .
Hope this incredibly invasive personal advice eithout knowing the dituation or ppl involved helps!
How do I do this? I have a daughter, her husband, 2 boys, another grandson I raised, his girlfriend, me and my husband. My husband has his passport. The rest of us are working on ours. I am afraid my daughter thinks I watch too much news, and read too much substack. I just watched the video Andrew Wiseman put out The Wolf is at the Door. I understand the urgency, they don’t. How do I make them understand to be prepared? How do I do that without making them think I am crazy?